No...I don't want any fries with that!

Instant Karma: Make your life more like you want it...

Seems simple enough...make your life more like you want it...hell, it seems like down right common sense, even a bit ludicrous that one would have to state such an obvious thing. Yet for years, I've found myself making choices that go against that very simple and elegant statement.

Case in point, my weight...I can't count how many times I've wished to be thinner only to gobble down a Big Mac and large fry. It's like there is little voice in my head telling me it's ok to have that kind of crap, "Hell, you're overweight anyway...what is another fast food burger really gonna do to you?" or "You'll never be thin, so just accept it and eat whatever you want." Those two phrases are the bane of my existence.

I'm all for loving myself...overweight and all. In fact, I think if I can't accept myself as I am right now, then no amount of weight loss will help me feel better about my body. I think it's clear that being thin is not the solution to lifes’ problems...being thin, should not be my goal! And it's not...I don't care if I'm overweight (based on the norms that are out there now). I care about being healthy enough to have a child...being healthy enough to maybe even have two...cuz let's face it, I'm probably going to be too much of a heahache in my old age to put all that burden on one kid... ;-P

And that's the crux...I want to see my future kids grow up, get married...I want to embarrass them by telling tales to their wives, husbands, children...I want to be a grandmother...

So...in taking the steps to make this happen, I am working on two issues simultaneously. My doctor just prescribed something called Metformin. She explained that it's a drug normally given to diabetics and while I'm not diabetic, I am certainly at high risk. One of the side effects is that it can make a woman ovulate....so the drug has been used to treat women, like me, who have trouble ovulating. Another side effect, is that it typically causes weight loss...I was on it for a short time before and I lost about 20lbs. The trick, is that using this drug, eating right, and exercising should all work together to not only get my body to lose weight, but also to someday have a child.

Don't get me wrong, there are side effects. While my body adjusts to the medicine, I'm running to the potty almost every hour...ick...I know you didn't need to know that. On the bright side, I bet I helped curb your appetite ;) There are also some more severe risks...so it's not without its drawbacks. I have to watch my food intake pretty carefully and have good balanced meals...which is the toughest part for me…but right now, the risks outweigh the possible side effects [I reserve the right to change my mind on this should I need to put a computer in the potty just to post on this site!]

I’m pretty clear on what I need to do in order to achieve my goals…I’m ready to start making choices that allow me to have the life I want. I'm not a saint, and I know that there will come a day where I treat myself to a yummy dinner out...but I'll remember to say, "No, I don't want fries with that!"

Take care...until next time :)
Karma