Instant karma: Examine your need to accummulate or hold on to things...
Today's karma point ties in to the thoughts that are weighing on me (literally & figuratively). I realized that the "selish monster" has reared it's ugly head in my pantry! It's too big to squish with a shoe...so I'm going to attempt to "blog"eon it to death ;)
First, let me start by saying that anything I have I am happy to share...my books, time, clothes, money...deep down, I like to help people. This includes sharing anything I have with them...I'm not a doormat, so no requests for money :P But you get my drift. If there is a way help, I will do my best...of course, I suffer from humanism--which means I'm not perfect but I do try to be helpful.
That is...except with food. I'm a compulsive eater. As I was chatting w/ my friend Tra today, I realized that I am so selfish with food. For instance...take ice cream. Most people like ice cream, it has so many flavors and toppings...there is something for everyone. My husband and I both enjoy ice cream...too much in fact. Which becomes a problem when we have it in the house because we both want the ice cream for our own. It's terrible and you can say it, it's a little sad.
I've noticed to combat this he and I will buy ice cream or other sweet treats the other doesn't like...specifically so we don't have to share! I hate cinnamon, so he'll buy cinnamon rolls...he doesn't like coffee, so I'll buy Starbuck's Java Ice cream. I hate apple pie, he hates carrot cake. The list goes on and on...but when I buy an ice cream flavor that I know he likes, I typically won't buy it anymore....
Upon reflection, I realize that if we both like a particular sweet treat, we both eat as much of it as possible...as soon as possible. I can't speak for him, but for me, I'm so afraid of there being none left when I want some, that I choose to eat all that I can when it's there. Pints of ice cream are the worst....those don't stop me at all, they are a "one sitting" serving.
Funny thing is that if R does eat it, I have the choice to go buy more, if I really want it...so why does it matter so much?? When he doesn't like the ice cream flavor, a pint can sit there for months without me having ANY...because I know he won't eat, so it will be there for me whenever I do. His sweet tooth is pretty powerful though, so it's hard to find something that I like that he doesn't...
This ritual doesn't stop at sweets though, if it did then the answer would be to eliminate them...but it's with every meal...we both want to be able to eat whatever amount we want...without having to worry about seconds. So we pile our plates high with pasta or potatoes to make sure we fill ourselves up...too often we simply gorge ourself...to ensure that our wants are taken care of.
I know for me this comes from my childhood...we usually didn't have lots of money and we didn't always get to have sweet treats...and I remember many times when meals were very simple without any extra for seconds. In addition, there was always that “clean your plate” mantra that was drilled into us kids. As an adult, I am in charge of my own kitchen yet I can't seem to overcome this need to make sure I get my fill....eat more before it's all gone. I have a hard time recognizing that if something is gone when I want it, I can drive to the supermarket and get it. I'm still thinking like the girl who had to eat when the eating was good...and when it wasn't you made do. It’s even more difficult to stop myself from eating when there is still food on my plate.
I think that is why portion control is sooo freaking hard for me. It's hard to limit myself because in the back of my mind I'm always encouraging myself to "eat while the eating is good” and once it’s there I feel the need to finish it all. Last night for instance, R was going over to a friend’s house...so I was making dinner for just myself. I was trying to be good and I made a pretty healthy dinner.
Well, it was very good...and I ate my one portion and I was putting the rest away for R to take to lunch today...well, I had the hardest time not eating the rest of it...I wanted it. As I put it in the Tupperware, I was stealing little bites. I wasn't hungry...but it was like I couldn't stop myself...I wanted it all for myself and I knew he would be taking it to lunch...not me. Talk about greedy…
I suppose it helps that I’m making myself aware of these behaviors…as GI Joe says, “Knowing is half the battle.” Now I must work at staying aware to make sure that I’m not acting selfishly. I know food is important to living, can’t get around that one…but I can live without a pint of Ben & Jerry’s or a third portion of a good meal.
Until next time…
Karma
Today's karma point ties in to the thoughts that are weighing on me (literally & figuratively). I realized that the "selish monster" has reared it's ugly head in my pantry! It's too big to squish with a shoe...so I'm going to attempt to "blog"eon it to death ;)
First, let me start by saying that anything I have I am happy to share...my books, time, clothes, money...deep down, I like to help people. This includes sharing anything I have with them...I'm not a doormat, so no requests for money :P But you get my drift. If there is a way help, I will do my best...of course, I suffer from humanism--which means I'm not perfect but I do try to be helpful.
That is...except with food. I'm a compulsive eater. As I was chatting w/ my friend Tra today, I realized that I am so selfish with food. For instance...take ice cream. Most people like ice cream, it has so many flavors and toppings...there is something for everyone. My husband and I both enjoy ice cream...too much in fact. Which becomes a problem when we have it in the house because we both want the ice cream for our own. It's terrible and you can say it, it's a little sad.
I've noticed to combat this he and I will buy ice cream or other sweet treats the other doesn't like...specifically so we don't have to share! I hate cinnamon, so he'll buy cinnamon rolls...he doesn't like coffee, so I'll buy Starbuck's Java Ice cream. I hate apple pie, he hates carrot cake. The list goes on and on...but when I buy an ice cream flavor that I know he likes, I typically won't buy it anymore....
Upon reflection, I realize that if we both like a particular sweet treat, we both eat as much of it as possible...as soon as possible. I can't speak for him, but for me, I'm so afraid of there being none left when I want some, that I choose to eat all that I can when it's there. Pints of ice cream are the worst....those don't stop me at all, they are a "one sitting" serving.
Funny thing is that if R does eat it, I have the choice to go buy more, if I really want it...so why does it matter so much?? When he doesn't like the ice cream flavor, a pint can sit there for months without me having ANY...because I know he won't eat, so it will be there for me whenever I do. His sweet tooth is pretty powerful though, so it's hard to find something that I like that he doesn't...
This ritual doesn't stop at sweets though, if it did then the answer would be to eliminate them...but it's with every meal...we both want to be able to eat whatever amount we want...without having to worry about seconds. So we pile our plates high with pasta or potatoes to make sure we fill ourselves up...too often we simply gorge ourself...to ensure that our wants are taken care of.
I know for me this comes from my childhood...we usually didn't have lots of money and we didn't always get to have sweet treats...and I remember many times when meals were very simple without any extra for seconds. In addition, there was always that “clean your plate” mantra that was drilled into us kids. As an adult, I am in charge of my own kitchen yet I can't seem to overcome this need to make sure I get my fill....eat more before it's all gone. I have a hard time recognizing that if something is gone when I want it, I can drive to the supermarket and get it. I'm still thinking like the girl who had to eat when the eating was good...and when it wasn't you made do. It’s even more difficult to stop myself from eating when there is still food on my plate.
I think that is why portion control is sooo freaking hard for me. It's hard to limit myself because in the back of my mind I'm always encouraging myself to "eat while the eating is good” and once it’s there I feel the need to finish it all. Last night for instance, R was going over to a friend’s house...so I was making dinner for just myself. I was trying to be good and I made a pretty healthy dinner.
Well, it was very good...and I ate my one portion and I was putting the rest away for R to take to lunch today...well, I had the hardest time not eating the rest of it...I wanted it. As I put it in the Tupperware, I was stealing little bites. I wasn't hungry...but it was like I couldn't stop myself...I wanted it all for myself and I knew he would be taking it to lunch...not me. Talk about greedy…
I suppose it helps that I’m making myself aware of these behaviors…as GI Joe says, “Knowing is half the battle.” Now I must work at staying aware to make sure that I’m not acting selfishly. I know food is important to living, can’t get around that one…but I can live without a pint of Ben & Jerry’s or a third portion of a good meal.
Until next time…
Karma
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