Instant Karma for today: As much as you love someone, realize that you can't control that person's life.
Today is my dad’s birthday…he passed away in 1990, but I still think about him and talk to him almost every day. He was a man who lived his life by helping others…a volunteer fireman, Red Cross volunteer, & EMT (Emergency Medical Technician). My entire life, I’ve never known anyone as giving and generous of their time as my dad. Happy Birthday Dad…I love you and miss you every day!
On to the BLOG…
At what point does a nice gesture become sabotage? After reading the blog my friend writes, she brought up great issues about husbands (spouses in general, really). My husband has a severe weight issue. For a long time, I tried to get him to work on his weight along with me....he resisted and resisted...so I stopped nagging. Eventually, he realized for himself that he needed to do something, so he started going to weight watchers with me.
It was great...we were working on losing weight together...in fact, he lost a whopping 80lbs. while going to weight watchers (I lost about 46 lbs). We credit a great meeting leader! Anyway, that particular leader ended up retiring, and we really didn't like the new leaders...so, we thought we could "go it alone." Needless to say, we gained all that weight back and then some! Currently, we are both at the heaviest we've ever been! This is really hard for him especially since he was an athlete in high school...i've seen pictures...he was lean and all muscle!
Anyway, I know his weight really bothers him...but he has chosen not to do anything about it...and I can't/won't nag him about it. I know that nagging him will NOT change his behavior, but I made a point of trying to change mine...with or without him.
Which brings me back to the point...yesterday, I did really well with eating better, drinking water, making a healthful dinner. I've told him about my daily goals, about wanting to be healthy, and how my friend and I are setting daily goals to work on our weight and be accountable. Well, he comes home last night from a quick trip to the store and has bought me Hostess cupcakes!!! I mean, WTF?? Was he not paying attention? Did he think I wasn't serious? And the worst of it? I ate them...in part, because I didn't want to make him feel bad for trying to do something nice for me. In the past, they have always been a bring a bring-a-smile-to-my-face "comfort" food.
I know his intentions were to bring me something to make me smile! And I love him dearly for that!! I don't blame him for my eating the cupcakes...I'll make that clear. I was the weak one...I could have thrown them away...or simply said that I didn't want them. But I was so intent on protecting his feelings that I let my own feelings get overwhelmed.
I felt such guilt in each bite...but that guilt pushed me to keep eating. At that moment, I think I may understand an inkling of what an alocholic must feel like with that first drink...the desire to stop, the need to stop, but a force that just pushes you to keep filling your mouth. The funny thing is, it didn't make me smile this time. In retrospect, in fact, it makes me feel sick that I pushed myself to finish them.
This leads me to a goal for today:
Tell R that I love him...and that I need him to not aid and abet my poor eating habits. I need to make it clear to him that I adore the thought behind the sweet treat...but from now on, it will make me much happier if he bought me fruit instead....or hey, new shoes...or jewelry...You get the picture!
Overall, I've done really well today:
Breakfast: Cottage Cheese & fruit
Snack: Carb Well, high-protein cereal bar...they are yummy!
Just about to head out for a late lunch...going to track down a yummy salad.
Excercise: Walk around campus--15 minutes
Take care…Until next time…
Karma
Today is my dad’s birthday…he passed away in 1990, but I still think about him and talk to him almost every day. He was a man who lived his life by helping others…a volunteer fireman, Red Cross volunteer, & EMT (Emergency Medical Technician). My entire life, I’ve never known anyone as giving and generous of their time as my dad. Happy Birthday Dad…I love you and miss you every day!
On to the BLOG…
At what point does a nice gesture become sabotage? After reading the blog my friend writes, she brought up great issues about husbands (spouses in general, really). My husband has a severe weight issue. For a long time, I tried to get him to work on his weight along with me....he resisted and resisted...so I stopped nagging. Eventually, he realized for himself that he needed to do something, so he started going to weight watchers with me.
It was great...we were working on losing weight together...in fact, he lost a whopping 80lbs. while going to weight watchers (I lost about 46 lbs). We credit a great meeting leader! Anyway, that particular leader ended up retiring, and we really didn't like the new leaders...so, we thought we could "go it alone." Needless to say, we gained all that weight back and then some! Currently, we are both at the heaviest we've ever been! This is really hard for him especially since he was an athlete in high school...i've seen pictures...he was lean and all muscle!
Anyway, I know his weight really bothers him...but he has chosen not to do anything about it...and I can't/won't nag him about it. I know that nagging him will NOT change his behavior, but I made a point of trying to change mine...with or without him.
Which brings me back to the point...yesterday, I did really well with eating better, drinking water, making a healthful dinner. I've told him about my daily goals, about wanting to be healthy, and how my friend and I are setting daily goals to work on our weight and be accountable. Well, he comes home last night from a quick trip to the store and has bought me Hostess cupcakes!!! I mean, WTF?? Was he not paying attention? Did he think I wasn't serious? And the worst of it? I ate them...in part, because I didn't want to make him feel bad for trying to do something nice for me. In the past, they have always been a bring a bring-a-smile-to-my-face "comfort" food.
I know his intentions were to bring me something to make me smile! And I love him dearly for that!! I don't blame him for my eating the cupcakes...I'll make that clear. I was the weak one...I could have thrown them away...or simply said that I didn't want them. But I was so intent on protecting his feelings that I let my own feelings get overwhelmed.
I felt such guilt in each bite...but that guilt pushed me to keep eating. At that moment, I think I may understand an inkling of what an alocholic must feel like with that first drink...the desire to stop, the need to stop, but a force that just pushes you to keep filling your mouth. The funny thing is, it didn't make me smile this time. In retrospect, in fact, it makes me feel sick that I pushed myself to finish them.
This leads me to a goal for today:
Tell R that I love him...and that I need him to not aid and abet my poor eating habits. I need to make it clear to him that I adore the thought behind the sweet treat...but from now on, it will make me much happier if he bought me fruit instead....or hey, new shoes...or jewelry...You get the picture!
Overall, I've done really well today:
Breakfast: Cottage Cheese & fruit
Snack: Carb Well, high-protein cereal bar...they are yummy!
Just about to head out for a late lunch...going to track down a yummy salad.
Excercise: Walk around campus--15 minutes
Take care…Until next time…
Karma
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