Holy Pilates Batman!

Karmaic Quote: Love someone for who and what they are without conditions.

I did it! I signed up for my first Pilates class. It's an "express" class offered during the lunch hour on Tuesdays & Thursdays. I'm feeling really good about it. It was a choice between the Pilates and a class called Guts & Gluts...while I definitely need work on both my gut and butt, but I wasn't sure I was up for the more advanced level course. Figure that the classes are going to be filled with young co-eds to begin with...I'm not sure I'm ready to try and keep up with them.

As it is, the class starts next Tuesday, so I have one more week to keep myself motivated! I find that is the most difficult thing....finding motivation and staying that way. I keep telling myself that I will love it! My aim is to do this twice a week, then do bike afterwards...increasing bike to MWF if possible. It's funny, I really don't like doing things alone, yet repeatedly throughout my life I've been alone in completing the things that are important to me.

As an undergrad, years ago, I remember converting to Catholicism. Every week for a year I attending classes on my own...none of my friends attended with me. In fact, the first time I signed up for a retreat was my freshman year...I knew no one on the retreat. My friend Christina was so surprised that I would go to such a thing by myself. While I was nervous and a bit scared to be "on my own" with a bunch of strangers, I ended up meeting new friends. I've actually enjoyed these "solo" experiences...broadening my horizons at my own pace, in my time...without the hustle of friends pushing me to be a follower on their journey. I love the feeling of going to a movie alone, taking a walk, or sitting silently in the solitude of the Mission Church or the gardens.

I guess, what I'm trying to say with all this rambling is I'm capable of doing this on my own. I don't need the trainer (like I keep saying)...I don't need a support group, like weight watchers...I simply need to believe this is important to me. This has always been the biggest obstacle for me...believing that I'm important enough to be healthy. Sounds weird, I know...I'm not talking about being "self-important"--just important to myself. Care about myself as I do for my family and friends.

I guess I will tack this on to my goals...simply be alert to my long term needs and desires. Don't push them away in favor of short term "fix" or the ease of apathy.

Until next time...
Karma

Ten Year Anniversary...

Today my hubby and I have been married for 10 years! Wow...it's amazing how fast time goes by! How quickly our lives pass by us...He really is the man of my dreams! While things have not always been perfect, I realize that nothing ever is...that the rough patches made us a stronger couple. I am hoping for a lifetime more of memories with him...

To celebrate, he and I along with some family & friends are going to Oakland for a Fire Opera. It should be fascinating and very cool! It's an opera, but choreographed with Fire...can't wait!

The Crucible celebrates its 7th Anniversarywith another sizzling Fire Opera staged in the industrial vastness of The Crucible's 56,000 square feet studio space.
Watch the sparks fly as our heroine Anna descends into seven American cities, each one introducing a new deadly sin. Caught between two worlds, Anna struggles with the reality of having to earn money to build her family a new home in Louisiana and her inner desire to create art. As she moves through her journey, weighed down by family pressure and the evils of consumerism and capitalism, she is confronted by the "Greek chorus" of her demanding kin, countered by the urge to succumb to temptation. Will Anna resolve her conflict or fall into spectacular flames of sin?

I'll post more on it later...hopefully I'll be able to finagle some pics!! :)

101 Things About Me...

Karmaic quote:
"We forge gradually our greatest instrument for understanding the world -- introspection. We discover that humanity may resemble us very considerably -- that the best way of knowing the inwardness of our neighbors is to know ourselves." Walter Lippmann 1889-1974, American Journalist

Well, I’ve seen several people posting their 101 Things About Me lists. Including one of my closest friends, so I’ve decided to take the plunge and do my own. Not sure anyone will even read it…much less find anything in interesting, but here goes:

1. I’m addicted to books!
2. My favorite fruit is/are cherries.
3. I don’t like the smell or taste of cinnamon.
4. While I dislike organized religion, I do pray.
5. Friday, the 13th will be my 10 year wedding anniversary.
6. We eloped.
7. I went to college right out of high school, dropped out after 3 years…it then took me 13 years to finish getting my Bachelor’s Degree…but I finally did it.
8. I was a nanny.
9. I was the kickball champ in 4th grade.
10. I’ve found myself, on more than on occasion, crying at hallmark commercials.
11. I love action movies.
12. I miss not have family living closer to me.
13. I want to be a mom…but it may not be in the cards.
14. I can play my City of Heroes/Villains video game for HOURS!
15. I converted to Catholicism when I was 19.
16. I have a “freak flag” and there are times when I let it fly…(see The Family Stone to get this reference…lol ;) )
17. I’m addicted to my DVR!!
18. I stopped biting my nails, so they were all long and beautiful…but then started biting only TWO of them…so the rest stay long while I have these two nubs that I nibble on.
19. I think of California as my “native” home, despite being born elsewhere.
20. I went to about 17 different schools in K-12.
21. I married the “bestest” guy in the whole world.
22. I’m a hopeless romantic.
23. I love scary movies…psychological thrillers as opposed to simple hacker films.
24. I still miss the dog I had growing up…a black miniature poodle named Gigi.
25. I still play Dungeons & Dragons and other role playing games.
26. As a kid, I used to pretend I was a famous actress…and of course I won an Oscar.
27. My recurring nightmare (since I was 12) has me widowed and left with 9 children, the youngest still in diapers.
28. I want to write romance novels…both romantic suspense and historical romance (westerns).
29. I’ve submitted three poems for publication…I don’t hear back until March.
30. I liked listening to Howard Stern when he was on the radio, but don’t want to spend the money for satellite radio.
31. I procrastinate.
32. I used to hate the color purple, but now I like it…I’ve never told anyone I like it, until now.
33. I’m a tv junkie!
34. My favorite shows are: Gray’s Anatomy, Gilmore Girls & Monk.
35. If it were in my power, I would do almost anything for a friend.
36. I believe the adage, "Friends are the family you choose for yourself."
37. My dream vacation destination is Scotland.
38. I believe our current president is a puppet at best, an evil tyrant at worst…either way, the country is suffering for it.
39. I believe in Karma!
40. I love chatting online.
41. I hate exercise…but realize that it’s necessary in order to be healthy.
42. I love pens…when I see new ones at Office Depot, I’ll buy them…my weakness: Pentel R.S.V.P. Fine point in purple, green or red.
43. I’ve had intimate encounters in public places…w/ my hubby and previous boyfriends.
44. Some of the more interesting places include: a city bus, a Laundromat, a Ferry, a car parked at a freeway off-ramp, and a cemetery.
45. I’m shy in groups where I don’t know anyone.
46. I’m very extroverted when I’m comfortable…or drunk.
47. I rarely drink these days.
48. In college, I was a bit of a lush.
49. I’ve never had a one night stand.
50. I’m not very domestic.
51. Sometimes I think I’m a terrible wife.
52. I dislike most of Tim Burton’s movies.
53. I go to see them because of Danny Elfman’s music.
54. I’ve seen Oingo Boingo in concert.
55. I fell asleep during the movie The English Patient…it was soooo boring.
56. I was on the swim team in high school.
57. As a show of “team spirit” all the swimmers had to swallow live goldfish during a school assembly…which I did.
58. Afterwards, I felt like I had a fin stuck in my throat for weeks.
59. I’ve always disliked diamonds.
60. I love Lapis Lazuli
61. Pluto is my favorite Disney character!!
62. I voted for Ross Perot.
63. I think Clinton has been the best President since FDR!
64. If I were Monica, I NEVER would have told!
65. I am insanely curious about almost everything…
66. I hate it when I know someone is keeping a secret JUST from me.
67. I have many secrets!
68. I have several friends who have told me secrets that I’ve never told another person.
69. <<< Not really a fan of this position.
70. I have a great phone voice, or so I’ve been told.
71. I’ve been told I’m “pretty” (as in, “you have a pretty face.”) But I’ve never been told that I’m beautiful…
72. In high school, my dad told me I would be beautiful IF I lost weight.
73. I love my dad, but I still remember that comment and it still hurts.
74. I think if he knew how much it hurt me, he never would have said it.
75. I have two adopted brothers…both very young.
76. I do not speak to my oldest brother, and don’t plan on ever talking to him again.
77. Before I was married, I answered several personal ads to get dates.
78. I met my husband when we both were performers at the Rennaissance Faire.
79. I made the first move…he was and still is a bit shy.
80. I have lots of guy friends.
81. Most of them are gay.
82. I prefer the term “fruit fly” to “fag hag.”
83. This week, I tried Greek food for the very first time…it was “okay.”
84. My favorite flowers are Yellow Daisies & Sunflowers.
85. I love to take pictures.
86. I took over 800 on our trip to Hawaii.
87. I have an eclectic taste in music...Garth Brooks, Billy Joel, Elton John, Green Day, Metallica, Johnny Cash, Mozart, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Depeche Mode, and many more!!
88. I have a hard time saying “No.”
89. I think I still have a LOT to learn in this life.
90. I like going to the dentist if I know I’ll be getting Nitrous Oxide.
91. Otherwise, I’m petrified…even if it’s just a cleaning.
92. While on Nitrous, I’m certain I understand the universe and the meaning of life.
93. My hubby and I have talked about our “Lists” of famous people that IF we had a chance, would be “freebies”: mine include Hugh Jackman, Keifer Sutherland, & Viggo Mortenson…his included Michelle Pfeiffer, Renee Russo, & Amanda Tapping.
94. I wish my friend’s dog, Kimba, was my dog….she’s so sweet.
95. I was spoiled as a kid.
96. I’m selfish as an adult…but I’m working it.
97. I’m forgetful…
98. I have trouble sleeping most nights.
99. If I won a giant lottery jackpot, I’d buy my sister her dream house.
100. I’ve never in my life been “thin.”
101. I’ve read as many as 6 novels (300+ pages each) over the course of one weekend.

What comes after the happy ending??

Kamaic Quote:
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
— Unknown

2005 has ended with a whimper...thank goodness, I was tired of the whining! I'm excited about 2006. First, I have a renewed focus on getting onto the excercise bandwagon. I'm simply tired of being a couch potato. Don't get me wrong, I love the couch and I love potatoes, but the two together have got to go!

I'm not making weight loss a New Year's "resolution" per se...because I realize this shouldn't be a flippant response to a new year full of hope and promise...that being said, I do think with the new year comes new opportunities. My opportunity comes in the form of an excercise class at the University...it works perfectly into my schedule. It meets twice a week and it focuses on Gluts & Guts! Just what I need! Well, ok...I need more than this, but it's a good start anyway!

I saw it, and I thought this is it...only I can change my behavior. I can't wish away the pounds or dream of diet success, I have to work and work hard to succeed. I know I have it in me to follow through to complete a goal...hell, I worked for 16 years to get my Bachelor's Degree. There were points where I nearly gave up, but eventually, I got what I went after.

In fact, part of my problem is that my goal to this point in my life has been completing school...now that I've done it, I feel a little lost. Like, what do I do now?? People ask me, "Now that you have your degree, what are you going to do with it?"

The answer, sadly, is not much. Most people expect that I was going for a degree in order to get a better job, or more money, or have an alternate career...the truth is that I simply wanted to educate myself. Perhaps a little vainly, I wanted to be seen by others as an "educated" person. So, great....I got my heart's desire...it's a happy ending!! But now what??

I feel like I'm lost at sea without a compass...or an oar, for that matter! I've had this one goal for 34 years! 34 years of classes...ok, maybe 30 years, I wasn't Baby Einstein...geesh! It seems unreal that for the first time in my life I don't have a class I need to take...I'm actually weaning myself off of schoolwork by auditing a course this quarter. It won't be for a grade, a FIRST for me!! Grades have always been very important to me! To take a class simply for the joy of it...wow...it will be a startling new experience.

But then what? What happens next in my life? I guess, it's time I focus on a new 30 year goal!! I think health, weight loss and activity is a good one. Like with school, there will be times that I struggle...or times I feel like giving up...or times when I simply "skip" a day and do whatever I want...

So no New Year's resolutions for me....simply a lifetime resolution to treat my body better than I have over the last 34 years! With a little courage, strength and perseverence I'm hoping better health will be the payoff!

Until next time...
Karma